When I was a kid, my father used to always tell me,”Take the first step forward, and everything will somehow work out“. Maybe that was true back in the late 90s when things were working more in analog than digital, yahoo mail & hotmail were the posh things’ people with computers had, internet speed was maxed out at 56kbps via dial up connections, google was being born and most of the information we had were all from a small CRT TV box. Fast-forward 25+ years, and we have access to a wide range of options to choose from and transparency is all over the internet, mixed both in the form of truth and lies. Even for things such as heart-break or a health issue, we simply ‘GOOGLE IT‘. The more we GOOGLE IT, the more sadness and anxiety builds up to make the heart-breaks and a simple health issue worse. But, do we GOOGLE IT when things do not work out between two different parties? Well…. (Let me leave it to the person reading in between to answer the above question.)
So, if you start a partnership between two parties thinking this will work out somehow, then where do we go wrong?
“The First year is always a honeymoon phase.”
Just like you want to think about your opposite partner 24/7, trying to find 1000s of reasons to talk and meet every single day, Your business also feels the same during the first phase. You have a series of groundbreaking ideas almost every single day, and your dopamine levels are skyrocketing, making you think ‘Everything is possible‘. Build a teleportation device, why not? Become invisible, why not? Reverse Aging, why not? Ending Environmental Hazards, why not?…. & the list goes on and on depending on what you are doing.
If you have already been through this phase, then, you are pretty much getting the point I am making here. If you haven’t understood then bookmark this, once you go through your first heart break, then read this again (You would not be disappointed).
“When you know everything about each other, things start to get boring and complicated.”
Just like the law of Diminishing Marginal Utility says in Economics, “the marginal utility from each additional unit declines as consumption increases. The marginal utility can decline into negative utility, as it may become entirely unfavorable to consume another unit of any product (Investopedia, 2021).” It is simple, when you know everything about your partner, you will know how much they can invest in the company, or what their existing Public Relations (PR) does to your business sales. After a long first year, you begin to see flaws on parts where you thought you liked in the beginning. You will experience financial complications and start thinking, ‘Why should you be the only one investing your time and money?‘. You would rather want to watch your favorite TV shows, hangout with your friends, or do some activity that would not feel as if you are wasting your time just because you start to get bored with the state of your partner. Getting on time and getting off time is more important than investing more time to build what you initially thought was possible.
“Miscommunication and self-interpretation builds the biggest holes out of scratches.”
Once, you feel that you are losing interest, you will unconsciously train your mind to avoid your partner. Initially, if you loved the smell of their perfume, you will start getting headaches from the same exact smell. If your partner has a lot of friends outside, then you may start thinking that ‘They have a strong portfolio of people around them. They can re-start or diversify their portfolio whenever they want.‘ You might start feeling inferior or superior to your partner and depending on how you are interpreting yourself, you will start getting into dead-end conversations. You might be externally pressured via your financial circumstances and sometimes, all you want to expect is that your partner comes to your rescue, but you feel that you are alone in this never-ending war.
How did your business excel this far? It was because you were there. Who helped the company avoid loss and gain the profits? It was because you were there. How did a simple idea from a small room become a reality? It was because you were there. Now, you feel you have done enough, and your partner should cash in the same way you dedicated yourself, but they seem too busy in their own world.
“Every one wants to jump in a sailing boat rather than a sinking one.”
Be it going to movie theaters, community parks, restaurants, or other public areas, you begin to see that others are quite happy than you, and you also feel that you also deserve happiness. You check your instagram feeds, and you see a beautiful couple with #CoupleGoals. Your falling interest results in searching for 1000s of reason to jump to the other side. Similarly, when you look at your competitors, you think they are doing better than you, but you still want to believe you can do it too. Yet, why do they seem as if they have all the money and time in this world to spend? Wish your partner was also rich and made efforts to keep your partnership going strong in and out.
When you have compiled 1000s of your own thoughts, and you finally decide to leave the boat and walk in a new direction. You may believe that the only feasible way to make things better is to – ‘EXIT‘.
What we do not realize is that we need to TRUST each other, we need to BE HONEST with each other, ARGUE with each other as many times as much as we can, and we have to have that same GRIT when we were trying to make the effort in our honeymoon phase. You need CONSISTENCY and PATIENCE. You need to FIND BEAUTY and make your relationship or partnership to last, as much as you invest your efforts in trying to jump the boats to find ‘THE ONE‘.