From my childhood, I grew up in a way that each and everything I did would require praise or approval from my parents, teachers or friends. Be it on exams or any tasks given to me. Whenever I used to make an awesome sketches, I would rush to show it to my father hoping he would praise me for what I did. When I completed my homework in class, I used to be the first to show it to my teacher so that she could tell others how good I was performing. When I stopped receiving those feedbacks from them, I stopped sketching as well as completing my assignments on time. Why did I change all of a sudden? Why was I not motivated to move ahead with what I was doing? To be frank, I ruined the way I used to do things. Just because I could not hear what I wanted to hear made me stop doing the right thing.
So, How did I came up with this topic? What exactly is validation? Every time when we do something, we would require recognition for what we do, think, or feel. This is validation in psychological terms. But how does it imply in my life?
While I started working professionally, I never realized I was still seeking for someone to validate the things I was doing. Be it a simple task or an incredibly challenging tasks, I would carry out without thinking of rewards. I was doing good in the first two weeks but slowly I started realizing that hearing someone praise another person did affect my way of doing things. First, I tried to ignore it but then it started getting in my nerves. Slowly, It started affecting my progress but somehow I was getting praises from my supervisors but then again it would not be consistent and that affected my performance. I did not realize it for the first 11 months of my work life as it did not occur in my mind that my performance would be affected by words. It was quite difficult to come out of this loophole but somehow I started noticing that I need to be responsible for all of the actions that I take.
When I was out for work, I would always struggle with meeting up targets in my work. My supervisors would validate for meeting up the target in times but sometimes I would miss it and that would raise bigger issues on my head. If it was me before a year then I would be struggling to cope up with my own self because I started giving my best in whatever challenges would come ahead of me no matter the results. Surprisingly, I would give my all and the tasks would be completed and when it would not then I would be a bit tensed but my supervisor would support me with his validation. If I fail while trying my best then I would not have any regrets even if someone would not validate the way I was doing things. I started believing that if I do not give my best but then start looking for someone’s validation then it would not only affect my way of completing tasks but also would affect my mentality.
To show one’s creativity or to complete a task, it would require great amount of labor. If not being able to hear what I wanted to hear would stop me from giving my best then definitely I needed to stop that way of thinking. While I look at the way how I used to do things in the past, I realize that I was a complete mess who was making decisions based on others validation. Now my thinking have completely changed when I learnt about the concept of validation. Right now, I do not seek someone to validate on the way I do things because I believe in hard work and I should never back off from giving my best to whatever I will be doing. If I can self-validate with the best of my capability then why would I require a validation from someone else? Guess, one learns the art of validating from experience and growth. I am happy to learn new things from experience because every single step that I am taking from here and forth will be teaching me something new to help me become the best version of myself.